Joke 1

"Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
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Joke 2

So I went to the dentist.
He said "Say Aaah."
I said "Why?"
He said "My dog's died."
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Joke 3

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?"
I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it."
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Your Age by Eating Out

Don't tell me your age; you probably wouldn't tell me anyway, but your waiter may know!!This is very cleverDON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read:

  1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat. (more than once but less than 10)
  2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
  3. Add 5
  4. Multiply it by 50
  5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1758... If you haven't, add 1757.
  6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number The first digit of this was your original number. ( i.e., How many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)The next two numbers are .......... YOUR AGE ! ....... (Oh YES, it is!)THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2008) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS.