Joke 1

"Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
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Joke 2

So I went to the dentist.
He said "Say Aaah."
I said "Why?"
He said "My dog's died."
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Joke 3

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?"
I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it."
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BBQ Rules

New 'Range' of BBQWe'll be entering the BBQ season in a few months. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat.

Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off ' and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!

But it is important for the female gender to understand that the male of the species needs to feel wanted so he takes on most of the work to produce a perfect barbecue for his family.
Man, being the provider accepts the assistance of his spouse to provide the necessary liquid to help the man who cooks the meat. He needs a large quantity of said fluid to enable him to function. Quite the opposite for the female.

At the end of the feast the man, who has worked so hard, rests and sleeps. This may be misconstrued as him being plastered.